Gee whiz. I'm hurt, no one asked me to speak at graduation this spring. I would be a great speaker at institutions of higher learning, but I'm bit too conservative to be selected. Seems they're always looking for someone who is well-educated, bright, full enthusiasm, fair minded and knowledgeable about current affairs. That's me. I even know what I'd say to the college class of 2018:
Greetings graduates ... welcome to the real world. I trust you've prepared yourself, so get on the bandwagon. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Put down the cell phone and listen up. You represent about a third of American adults with a four-year college degree. I hope you've studied meaningful subjects like science, technology, engineering and math. Challenge yourself and keep learning. Move out of your parents' basement, but don't forget to make your bed.
First off, you've got to get a job, any job. Find a need and fill it.
Surround yourself with winners. Lunch with Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates. Maybe Warren Buffet could help you with some inside tips so you can make a few bucks. Learn how to balance a checkbook, contribute to worthy causes and volunteer. Keep an opened mind and always consider opposing views.
You are now expected to pay off your student loan, parking tickets, and credit cards. Read the Constitution and the Amendments, be informed. Be the leader in your own parade. Always remember to vote, support the troops and to put out the flag on holidays. Your future looks bright.