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Things I Know PAID ADVERTISEMENT by Shay Joshua Garnett My name is Shay Joshua Garnett. God has put many ideas into my head. I refer to the space between my right ear and my left ear as “the most valuable square foot of real estate in the entire world.” 4 I have insights into Satan, Let us then draw a big arrow and demons, and how they go to war against us. I could expound on this subject at great length. 5 I have given a lot of mental energy to understanding sex, and Nobody has shown the sexuality, and sexual crimes, slightest inclination to give and rape, and pornography, me money, or access to any and how God and Satan fight kind of resources. It is well within my power to withhold each other in this arena. I might even write a book leadership until money on all this some day. My comes in. But then I am waiting on you... and you are opinions are worth hearing. waiting on me... and time 6 I understand the battle of gets wasted. “Interpretation.” The movie Dark Knight illustrates what There is an entire universe a “war of interpretation” that is called the Abstract looks like. So does the book Universe. In this place, of Job. I have insights. anything can be anything else as long as you have 7 I have insights on money the slightest reason why it that are unique to me. I should be so. God can be believe that God “has a job” Satan. Satan can be God. that puts money into His Left can be right. Up can be bank account, and then down. And so forth. He goes out and spends that money. All that is needed for navigating this Labyrinth is 8 I have insights into the slightest justification in Capitalism and Socialism, the area of logic. A Christian and how to “decode” each can “shipwreck” their faith system, and then to predict in this Labyrinth. A normal why certain solutions person can find insanity will work, and why other here. But a well-grounded proposals won’t work. Christian can also find This decoding is useful understanding if aided when watching the by God. Presidential debates. I am exquisitely skillful in 9 I believe that the navigating this realm. In the 10 Commandments would Concrete World, What is the solve 50% of America’s most important concept, problems almost overnight. followed by How and Why. In the Abstract World, Why is 10 I understand the concept most important, followed by of intuition, and also how How, and then finally What. and why it is valuable. I also The deeper I know God, the comprehend how to make more easily I can pinpoint it more widespread and the Why, and go from there. productive in society. This is valuable stuff. 1 I understand the book of Revelation. The King of 11 I understand Education, the North is Stalin. The King and why God is hostile of the South is Hitler (the to Higher Education. I Antichrist). The daughter comprehend how to make of the King of the North is improvements and how to Poland. And the Holocaust is produce different results. the Tribulation. 12 I comprehend The beast that was slain and Science, and its hostility came back to life is World to religion (which they War. The Mark of the Beast call “superstition”). I see is “the blood of others.” The the unholy triumvirate False Prophet is the belief of Science-Governmentthat “war solves problems.” Education. And I can explain Armageddon will happen at things in the proper context. the end of the Millennium, which is at least 1,000 years 13 Although I am technically away. Christianity wastes not a veteran, I have gone vast resources on trying to through so many spiritual “get ready” for the end times. battles, and grueling circumstances, and have 2 I understand gender dealt with PTSD, and suicidal fairly well. I say “fairly well” thoughts, that I consider because I find there to be myself to be an “Honorary an “elusive” quality when Veteran.” There is leadership thinking about gender. Just that I can provide in when I have it pinned down, this area. it becomes elusive again. There are 4 types of gender: 14 I understand a good Male, Female, Children deal about prisons and the (pre-gender), and Evil Criminal Justice System. To (non-gender). digress momentarily, God has given me “visions” and Everybody has expertise in “projects” in many areas this area due to the fact that (including several of the they possess a human body. aforementioned areas), The bones are masculine; the which I cannot divulge until flesh is feminine; the blood the proper time comes along. is “pre-gender;” and foreign objects and viruses are “evil.” I even have projects that I can assign to entire nations. Loosely speaking, God is One domestic project that I to Mankind as Male is to have considered involves me Female. I have spent at going to a prison and “sifting least a few thousand hours through” its inhabitants using ruminating on this topic. my razor sharp intuition. 3 Every person is made God will tell me, “this one up of Mind/Spirit/Heart needs to go free,” and “this which parallels the Trinity one needs to be executed,” in Heaven. The Mind and and “this one needs sentence Spirit join together to form modification,” and so on. Not an education/Belief System only would this reduce the that is passed down to the financial burden on society, Heart which accepts it or but it would also eliminate rejects it. This upside down “improper executions.” triangle is a picture of God; and a picture of the spiritual 15 Let us take a sheet of paper, draw a line up the components of a person; middle, and put 11 tick and also a picture of how a family is structured. marks on this line from 0-10. In fact, it is almost a crime from the left pointing to the against humanity to make me President of the United States number 5, and another big since that job would detract arrow from the right pointing from my focus on providing to the number 5. This world leadership. represents the impasse that often happens in America. Imagine a bottle cap sitting on a table, and a medium When I listen to both waffle cone upside down parties, I recognize that over that bottle cap, with a one side actually wants the larger waffle cone upside number 6, and the other side down over both of them. actually wants the number 4. Therefore, the vertical line This is how I envision the Vice President living in the can be “redrawn” in a way White House, running the that each side gains what they most want, and forfeits country and doing 85% of some ground that they don’t the work, leaving me free to do the really big things. entirely care about. The duties of the job get So, in the area of abortion, each state gets to choose its done, whilst I still have free time for deep meditation, own policy, assuming that and important meetings, and residents can travel to a state to take action where it needs not too far away to get an to be done. By the way, place abortion, and the federal a number 20 next to that last government pays part of the paragraph. cost for that. The Left gets Access; the Right gets State’s Let us imagine a very poor Choice; and the stalemate man living in Bangladesh. gets partially resolved. He is always pissing and moaning and griping to 16 I have a vision for how God about how he doesn’t to reform the “Patronage” have any transportation, and system that helps to corrupt how easily his life would be Washington. For each improved, and gripe-gripeDepartment, you have a gripe-GRIPE-gripe. Leader, and an Understudy— who is preparing to become God gets sick of listening to this sourpuss. Therefore, the Leader. One of these God supplies this man with is a D, and one of them is TEN very nice Ferraris,... an R, and you rotate back AND an unlimited gas card, and forth, necessitating cooperation and support. In ... AND an instructor on how to handle/manage these cars. this manner, the Patronage Problem can be greatly fixed. But the man still gripes and never goes to retrieve them. 17 I have understanding and visions in the area of Racism, America is that Bangladeshi man. Shay Joshua Garnett and race relations. It took a is the TEN Ferraris AND the good amount of exertion for gas card AND the instructor. me to acquire these thoughts, The man not going to collect and it would require even his merchandise is perfectly more exertion to transfer this to others. Nevertheless, these analogous to SJG not receiving any money understandings are in from society. my head. Christianity is a 18 I have a Trillion Dollar Compensatory Religion. Idea that should instantly What I mean by that is the win me a Nobel Prize in righteousness of a Few (or economics. It won’t. the ONE) compensates for But it should. the lack of righteousness Every little government office of the Many. Go ahead and meditate on that if you need (nationwide) has a budget. some time to agree with me. If they don’t spend all their money each year, then next This society needs year they get less. This is enlightenment. It is writhing why they buy excess printer in pain. I have spent my paper each December. THIS energies and my years FORCES WASTE!!! But what pursuing enlightenment and if that office could keep the leadership to compensate extra, for up to seven years? for their lack in this area. Then they would be inclined During those years, many in society have pursued money. to reach maximum efficiency, But when I ask for money, and also to scrutinize they simply ignore me. This expenditures, and to leads me to believe that somewhat horde cash. Over apparently, compensating for time, this would dramatically others (compensation) is a reduce government spending one-way street. while also improving quality of life for This nation possesses oceans government employees. of wealth. Somehow...some of that needs to start finding There would need to be its way to me. It is within oversight of this program. my power to stop moving Someone who understands forward until money starts to both money and government. come my way. Somebody... You know, like a Michael somewhere... needs to Bloomberg, or someone like communicate an that. appreciation that Shay Joshua Garnett lives 19 I cannot remember all in America. Otherwise, said the solutions that God has individual might (eventually) placed inside of my head. accept an invitation to go I am so obscenely wealthy in live somewhere else. this area that I legitimately lose track of all that I know. Thank you for your time and attention. It is my belief that someday entire nations will fight ~Shay Joshua Garnett. each other for my time and email@example.com attention. And they will pay PO Box 2004 Billings, MT incredibly well!