My heart goes out to Janeil and Doug Anderson, and others like them who are struggling with infertility. I've been there myself. Nearly 20 years ago, my wife and I were in the same situation, experiencing the same anguish. We'd been through work-ups, rounds of donor insemination, infertility drugs, all to no avail. The goal of having a child seemed impossible, and hopeless.
Then we realized we were focusing on the wrong goal. It wasn't about "having a child" - it was about "becoming a parent."
When we arrived at that realization, everything fell into perspective. A seemingly unreachable goal now became something absolutely within our reach. We devoted our energies, and our resources, to achieving it through adoption.
Today, our 18-year-old son is about to graduate from high school. He is looking forward to starting college in the fall. Our 15-year-old daughter is eager to start working this summer, along with continuing her reining lessons.
Parenting two wonderful, beautiful children has made our lives rich and fulfilling. We have never, ever, regretted the decision we made. And our children fully are "our children" in every way.
"It would have been great to be a dad," Doug Anderson was quoted as saying in your story. Doug, you still can be. And Emily, you can be the mother you've dreamed of being. All you need to do is shift your perspective -- focus on becoming parents, and you'll see your way clear.
It will make all the difference in your lives. It made all the difference in ours, and in our children's, also.
John C. Rumm