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I was wondering if you could help me. I need to know how to contact someone in government to assist me in a bailout.

You see, I started a business building large, colorful, luxurious, mostly plastic vehicles. At first, they sold well. You see, it didn't really matter how big they were, just that they were made in the U.S. Everyone was willing to pay what I wanted since they were fed up with the outsourcing and use of overseas companies.

Now with the cost of the petrochemicals going so high, my costs for the plastic pieces are driving me out of business! You see, although I had a business plan, I watched others in the industry living high on the hog, so I joined them. Our $20 million homes are worth less, fueling our jets costs more, and food costs are keeping us from eating our caviar and champagne! Now we are headed for the pig sty and need the government to bail us out before we live with the consequences of our actions.

I figure that a measly $10 million will suffice. If there is a problem with it, I would be willing to cut that down to $8 million, although I might need more help again in a couple of years.

Part of my bailout will be coming out of your pockets, so I want you to know I appreciate it! When I get the money, I will take you out for a steak, ahhh, I mean a hamburger.

Marie Gauthier

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